btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
