giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
