I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
