I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
