And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
