I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
