Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
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