Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Having a random hookup so left but love u
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
