i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
