I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
