Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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