and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
