This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
