"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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