my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
