I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
