just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
