Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
