saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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