if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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