I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
