It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
