New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
