what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
