wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
