You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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