I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
