ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
