When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She's the barista slut.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
