Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
