I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
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