sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
