Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
