y did u give ur computer a hand job?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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