so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
