u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
