It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
