I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize