I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
