My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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