Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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