Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I am available for nakedness
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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