He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
