There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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