i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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