you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
