Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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