That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
