It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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