wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
