i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
