went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
