brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
