therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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