So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
