i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
